Standstill

Last night, I had a dream.

In my dream, I ran down a dark corridor, constantly looking over my shoulder. It seemed that I was afraid of something or someone. After a while, I grew winded and stopped to take huge, gasping breaths. I looked behind me to see an eerie, incandescent light coming around the corner. Then I felt my feet begin to carry me away, as I started running again.

Suddenly two identical doors appeared before me. I came to an abrupt stop a few feet away from them. I felt my head tilt a little and frowned in confusion. These doors looked vaguely familiar to me, as if I had passed by them before. Somehow, I knew that one led to an empty, seemingly endless hallway. My instinct told me to avoid that door at all costs. But I didn’t know what was behind the other door.

I knew that I had to make a quick decision. I felt the strange light behind me, closer than before. Fear took over me. My heart pounded in my chest and I shut my eyes. My entire body froze in place. I was unable to move and found myself unable to speak.





And then I woke up.



I jolted up in my bed and my eyes flew open. I looked around my dimly lit bedroom and felt as if someone was already standing there, watching me.

Song that inspired this blog: 'Already Over' - Red
"You never go.
You're always here (suffocating me)
under my skin.
I cannot run away.
Fading slowly."

Truth in mirrors

Looking into a mirror
A reflection of fantasy and fiction
Never seeing the truth
Seeing only what your mind lets you
Pictures show the reality you couldn't recognize
What everyone else sees

Choosing to live inside the mirror
Ignorant of the world around you
Living with a lie
It brings a small fleeting happiness

Acting as a brick to your fragile glass
The truth would break you
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Song that inspired this blog: 'Fences' - Paramore
"It's obvious that you're dying, dying
Just living proof that the camera's lying."

Side note: There is an actual relevance between the song, lyrics, and my post. =)

Unhappily Ever After

She sits behind the wheel of her car and frowns at the traffic ahead. Having nowhere else to go, she stares out of her window and listens to the song blasting through the stereo speakers. The music keeps her distracted, if only for a short amount of time, from the numbing pain in her heart. She inwardly cringes, not wanting to remember.

As the second verse of the song begins, she realizes that it's twilight. Another end to another day. This does not bring any kind of consolation to her, but she cannot deny the beauty that this time of day brings. Dimming sunlight paints the sky varying colors. Yellow, orange, pink and blue. The night starts to set in as the bridge of the song rings in her head.

Breathing a heavy sigh, she swallows the lump forming in her throat. The setting makes her think of how she has lived from day to day. Outwardly, she seemed as natural as the setting sun. Doing everything society had expected of her. But inwardly, she fought against the pain that she had brought on herself.

In the confines of her bedroom, she would scream silently for an answer, an ending. But no mercy was given. No one would hear her. Daylight would come again tomorrow. She would brave the world with her assumed role, covering her tear streaked face with a mask of smiles and laughter. Only in the cross between day and night would her facade dissolve. And the world would see the remains of a broken heart.

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Side note: This could be fact... or fiction.

Song that inspired this blog: 'I belong to no one' - God or Julie

"Everybody loves you, when you're how they want you.

Everybody hates me, 'cause I belong to no one."

Writer's block

I tend to have writer's block every now and then. I'm staring at the blank page and I'm thinking 'what do I write about?' I thought I'd start with myself.

1. In my heart and in my mind, most of my friends are family. I'm an only child, so my friends are kind of like substitute siblings.
2. The most valuable item I own is my very worn out iPod. If, for any reason, I don't have it on my person, I die a little inside. (Humor. I'm not actually serious.)
3. I believe that I have some unique qualities. That much is very obvious when I have conversations at home or with friends and people start to question my mental health.
4. I love sarcasm and I love to exaggerate.
5. Not too many people know this about me anymore but once in a while, I like to write a story or draw a picture.
6. I never finish any of my drawings or stories.
7. My life has absolutely no trend or 'daily routine.'
8. I'm beginning to question, is it really 'better to have loved and lost than to have never to have loved at all'?
9. I am a hopeless romantic.
10. I didn't want to end my list at 9.

Song for the day: 'First Love' - Adele
"So little to say, but so much time.
Despite my empty mouth, the words are in my mind."

About me

I'm randomly sitting here, thinking of something to write, with a pounding headache that came out of nowhere.