An A for Effort

It was Sunday morning when I was somehow awakened by the shrill ringing of my phone. This was an odd occurrence for me because I usually sleep like the dead. Verbal and even physical stimuli would always fail to rouse me.

Well, my phone had a particular feature which annoyed the living hell out of me on lazy Sundays such as this. Whenever I received a text message or voicemail, it continued to ring and ring and RING until I read the notification. Damned piece of...

Anyway, I very reluctantly pulled myself to the foot of the bed, where my cellphone usually sat, and looked with weary eyes at the screen. It said, '1 Text Message from Stephanie.' I made a note at the back of my mind to inflict various acts of violence on the child for waking me up on God's resting day. With a heavy sigh, I opened the text to see her short and strange text message: 'I am walking in the rain to save your boobies.'

'Huh,' I thought. I felt my face contort in utter confusion. I let my mind run one way and another. I could not for my life decipher what the fuck she meant. I texted her simply three question marks, '???'

I got a prompt answer in return in which she had explained how she chose to sacrifice her day of rest to do the Breast Cancer walk in the cold, fall weather; With drizzling rain. I thanked her profusely for saving my tits and proceeded to fall onto my bed.

I suddenly remembered something, pulled my weight back up and reached blindly for my cellular phone. I threw it forcefully in the air in an aimless direction and waited until I heard a satisfying crunch. I smiled to myself and went back to sleep.

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Dedicated to the randomness that is Stephanie: 'Extraordinary' - Liz Phair
'I am just your ordinary average everyday sane psycho'